I picked up a book at Target a couple of weeks ago, breaking my own book buying moratorium because I simply had to have it.  It was a rewrite of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice with the addition of zombies.  I wasn't able to begin reading it until this last weekend and it literally made me laught out loud.  My eldest son, curious I suppose that I was actually laughing for once...due to the fact that all electronics are banned including DVRing their favorite shows until grades are satisfactory...and when I showed him the title of the book he was astounded...his own mother was reading a book with the word "zombie" in the title and was actually liking it!  I found no problem with the major characters as experts in the marshal art of killing zombies,all while immersed in society and romance.  I  was actually proud how well Elizabeth could manuever her sword.  Connor was perplexed because I don't really appreciate violence.  So I told him that I have now expanded my position to include using weaponry in the case of killing zombies.  He gave me a smirk and was glad I could change with the times.

I seem to run into trouble these days with my budding teenagers, with regard to accountability, homework, language, lying etc., etc.  For spending much of my career working with teenagers, this is hard for me to swallow.  Not that I never rebelled as a teenager, I think the lack of filter on my mouth and general inablilty to master the art of deception was the reason that I tended to walk on the straight and narrow...besides I always carried a deep seeded belief that eventually my quick karmic turnaround would throw every deception back in my face anyway.  What is even more frustrating is that my sons also seem to have the quick karma gene but without my aptitude for common sense.  They both seem to believe that if they follow an infraction with this phrase, "But it's not my fault"  followed quickly by the indignity of not being believed and the noise of the following insurrection to try and deflect punishment.  It NEVER works.  I keep thinking they will learn from experience and from my constant reminder that people who never take responsibility for their actions are LOSERS.  Yes, I tell them that...It is best to tell the truth, especially since the culture they live in thrives on rationalizing their behavior away.  Not in my house.  I know their frontal lobes are barely working, and I try to be patient, but I swear it's like watching someone hit their thumb over and over again with a hammer.  I want to yell, "How stupid are You?"  But I know that would be mean, although I'm sure they can read that thought on the constant look of incredulity that I wear on my face...that and the fact that I look down at my shoes and shake my head about 100 times a day.  I know you must think that I am blind to the fact that I too was once a teenager.  Seriously, you should ask my parents.  I didn't do shit like mine do.  I never felt particularly afraid of my parents, and by the time I was a teenager, I realized that the fear I had of the nuns at my school as a child was simple pent up sexual frustration on their part.  It just didn't seem to make sense, knowing what could happen, to blame someone else for my choices.  That is my simple wish today for my boys...that they learn to reap what they sow and man up to the choices they've made, especially the stupid ones.  I don't mock them or lecture them or say I told you so.  I ask them what the consequences should be and follow through.  I think that is what bothers them the most...that they know what's right, but can't stand the thought of the discomfort that comes with it.

I'm just waiting for the witch trials to begin.  The insanity that surrounds the H1N1 right now actually has me wonder if they will start burning those that refuse to succumb to the will of much of western medicine.  Pharmacuetical companies who feed the frenzy with stories of tragic deaths all to pressure the public into being vaccinated with out alot of statistical evidence backing them up, and they stand to make billions of dollars on this crisis.  There is so much fear about getting sick, but not enough I gather, to take the appropriate measures to strengthen their immune system.s  I can't say enough about how important it is to learn to live in an organic world.  The more sterilized we get the more we perpetuate virulant diseases.  I'm not saying to throw away good hygene, but use some good common sense people!   Wash your hands, yes but don't freak out.  At church last Sunday the pastor actually told people to smile at the handshake of peace to stave off any potential spread of the disease.  I'm sure Jesus is shaking his head right now wondering if humanity will ever get it.  It takes one story of death from a unusual complication to put everyone into a frenzy, but somehow when there is a story about a vaccine related complication, it is quickly dismisses as a fluke.  Does anybody act concerned at how quickly this new vaccine was put out?  I wonder how they got beyond the usual protocols for imposed for our safety.  I certainly won't get it.  First, because I don't get the flu, and second, from all the information I've read the H1N1 is far less severe than other flu strains.  I say just breathe people and put your common sense hats on.  Drink lots of water, get plenty of rest eat foods rich in antioxidants, get exercise and regular adjustments and you'll be fine.

When I was in law school, I used to watch "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" when my little guys were eating supper and I needed a hefty dose of light entertainment.  I found it just smart and cheeky enough to take my mind off business or tax law or the many, many papers and outlines I was up to my ears in all the time.  When we regard evil, I find that a sense of humor cannot go out the window.  I can appreciate a smarmy comment as one of the undead would try to foil our heroine.  In dreamland last night, while surrounded by vampires and nervously awaiting the arrival of Buffy and her arsenal I remember thinking that I wasn't being very funny...or slayerish.  I didn't like being the one protected, even though I knew it was necessary because I didn't have a clue....that was the clincher, that I didn't have a clue.  We often don't, you know, what to do when face with a monster as frightening as one who wants to drain you of your life force.  Mine, thanks to much slaying and none done by me, is still quite in tact.  Afterward, I was placed on a couch to rest after my ordeal...I didn't much like that either.

 

Today is nothing but rain and multiple cups of tea...spiced ginger today.  I need a bit of calming after a phone call from the middle school that my son lost his trumpet...the $600 one we just finished paying for LAST WEEK!

Dreaming for me is as habitual as eating.  I've always dreamed vividly and with complete use and memory of my senses.  Lately, however I wake up sometimes in between worlds where I see a vision of sorts in the darkness of my room, above me as I lie in bed.  Not necessarily extensions of the dream, but observers in some capacity and when the dream concludes and I am just waking I see them and it really bugs me.  Perhaps its because I'm not sure if I'm totally cognisant yet, and kind of freaky that someone or things is standing over me waiting for me to wake up.  God, I hope I don't start seeing dead people too.  I don't mean to be so cantakerous, but I get freaked out at how cold I get at the same time it is happening.  I see enough people in dreamland, I don't want spirits lurking around me too.  This whole new development is too tiring.  But I'm a trooper, I guess.

 

This is the time of year that I clean closets and deposit all the ill fitting, out grown or just those clothes that make me wonder what I was on when I bought them.  I feel lighter, less complicated and alot more organized.  Although my closet isn't probably like alot of woman who love to shop, it still gets cluttered.  Now there is room for change and growth....

As much as fixing the malware on my computer was an incredible pain in the ass, it got me thinking.  Why use such genius, the kind that can create such virtual destruction, and mess with peoples already messy lives?  Why not use it for more altruistic purposes?  Perhaps the concept of karma, what comes around goes around, is completely lost.  Maybe they are making up for a horrible experience of being picked on in the seventh grade, maybe their homelife was horrible, or they lost their  jobs and desperate to pay bills...or maybe they are just complete ASSHOLES!  I hope their fingers fall off.  If I were a witch, I put a pox on their houses.  If I were in the mob, I'd put things under their fingernails.  If I were a member of the NRA I'd pull out my AK47.  But alas, I am none of these.  As much as the volume of my voice can wake the dead, it doens't do much for cyber criminals.  So I would like you to ponder the wasted resources it takes to create chaos, when the nature of things is in a continual progression toward order.  As messy as you think you make things, in all honesty, all things will eventually be well.  And while it was torturous to problem solve my way out of my computer problems I do take solice in the fact that they will get their comeuppance some day...and I hope I will be to watch.

My computer is still messed up, so I quickly borrowed one from a friend to say that alot is going on and dreamland is WILD.....Will we comprehend the changes coming?

My computer has a malware....so I'll be back in awhile, you'll just have to wait.

As I sat at work today, two lovely ladies equipped with Gideon Bibles came into the office wondering if there was any need for a bible.  I said, that no there really wasn't given that I myself was a theologian.  "What about the doctor?"  she quickly replied, which put me off because there was absolutely no reaction to the fact that this receptionist/chiropractic assistant in scrubs proclaimed an advanced degree.  When I replied he was my husband and therefore was also fully equipped with bibles, she pushed further..."Surely you patients could use a free bible."  I said less enthusiastically, "Well we don't have reading material unless it's specific to their condition because we like to get people in and out...but I assure you we create the atmosphere that Jesus talked about, love and healing."  She looked at me as if I had sprouted horns...thanked me and left.  Would accepting free bibles given her soul more solice than treating people according to the words written?  We are so obsessed with the tangible constrictions of a thing, like a book or a title that we often forget that the essence of those things is what is most important.  I don't need the presence of a book to create an environment of love.....

Riley called me on the phone in a panic and said, "Mom there's a bat in our garage and it growled at me!"  I responded, "Bats don't growl"  So he sent me a picture....I'll have to rethink the growling bit...

TOTALLY GROSS!!!!

Here is proof of all the towels I used to clean up the flood from last week...Here is the new floor I was trying to protect...

Also note that this floor will probably never be this clean again

I can't believe how flat I feel!  Between teenage angst and the weather, I seem to have zero energy these days.  This is a good indication that I have to be vigilant about a good health regimen.  Accordingly, there is chaos in dreamland...celebrities who don't listen, Wentworth and' Amaury to name a few, and I really don't understand why, perhaps they put too much stock in their celebrity status.  In dreamland the playing field is level, societies' hierarchies have no hold there...although many would like to believe that they do.  Our status in this world is the least significant part of fulfilling our purpose on the planet.  I try to remember that when I am overwhelmed by the tedious nature of helping boys grow in a world full of corruption and moral ambiguity.  I think the reason there are so many actors in my dreams is because of the powerful influence of modern story telling on culture, and that somehow we all play a part in this human drama.  We can learn things from fiction...they can be a guidepost, as you will for helping us play out scenarios in our own lives, or simply give us something to hope for...otherwise, doing what's necessary can be to hard.